When I last went to Sam's Club (aka my new best friend) Joy - my forever best friend - told me to get some really whole grain salty crackers.
"It said Wheat Thins. You just didn't notice" she avers.
It looked like it said Things as the heading of the list and below it, wheat crackers. And we had talked about it.
So anyway, I bought these Crunchmaster Multigrain Crackers, certified Gluten Free! All Natural! Crunchy Oven Baked! 100% whole grain! Cholesterol Free! Low Sodium! Ingredients: brown rice meal, sesame seeds, potato starch, quinoa seeds, safflower oil and a few more seeds. Good stuff.
"If they're good for your health, our health wasn't ready for them." Joy told me the other day she had tried them and that they weren't agreeing with her - that she was still tasting them, in fact. So I figured this needed a man's stomach as well. "Your stomach's worse than mine!" Yes, it is.
I tried one. It wasn't that bad. It had a very distinctive taste. Quite a focaccia bread flavor.
I tried a second. It wasn't that good. There's this funny aftertaste....
I tried a third. It was NASTY. I threw the fourth one I had grabbed away.
Joy ate five. Hooray for my discerning palate. The crackers spoke to us both, from every orifice "and woke me up in the middle of the night!" And both of us happily bid them a fond farewell today as they were introduced to a watery grave.
Joy's best comment was, "If we don't return them, I want to set them on fire ... only the fumes would probably be toxic."
We are not paid by the yummy Wheat Thins, nor by the rip-your-guts-out Crunchmasters.