Sunday, February 20, 2011

Looking Forward to Lavinia

Joy: "We are still having a girl! Yeah. We are now 21 weeks along and we think that poor Lavinia has had very little press on this news feed. Derrill felt her kick for the first time last night. Joy started feeling her kick or punch about February 9 (some undetermined stuff before), but has felt her most days since then. The funny part of that was the nurse had just been asking me earlier that week if I was feeling her move yet and I said well not really. I had thought that movement or fluttering by my ribs was the baby earlier and then found out that my uterus wasn't even close to my ribs. So, I chuckled and decided I wasn't really feeling her yet."

D: In all our ultrasounds, she has been a Mover and a Shaker. She squirms, she cartwheels, she spins.

"She nearly makes our doctor swear."

She certainly makes it difficult for him to keep an accurate heartbeat feed. Hyrum, by contrast, was a modest baby, hiding his head from the camera and crossing his legs. Joy could count Hyrum's 10 movements in the morning, but he didn't make much noise otherwise. "Maybe hiccups." I think she'll get to 10 movements daily for Lavinia any time now.

Back in the paleolithic era of our marriage, when infants did not rule the earth, "our first attempt at a pregnancy was a short-lived one." The miscarriage helped us get prepared to become parents eventually, changed our outlook on life, and was otherwise a very traumatic experience. Even though it occurred at such an early age, we had felt a real connection with our little embryo and felt that we were expecting a little girl.

"We felt close to her and had prayerfully chosen a name for her: Lavinia Thalia Watson."

This made losing her all the more tragic.

"When I suggested Lavinia, it was because I really felt that she was close to my great-grandmother Lavinia in Heaven."

I wanted to name her after Joy, but Joy was just as adamantly against a child named after herself as she is about a child named after me. So I made up a word. The word I made up was Thalia (TAY-leah). I thought it sounded nice. I later went to a baby name website and discovered that the name was Hebraic for ... Joy. I felt inspired. :?D

"And we just think the two names go best together with Lavinia first.

"When we found out we were expecting this time, I tried really hard to tell myself that I would be equally happy for a boy or a girl. When someone would say 'I think it's a girl,' I would say, 'I dunno. It's probably a boy.' And vice versa, trying to keep my heart open to all the possibilities, knowing there are only two."

When we were pregnant with Hyrum, we were ready with a girl's name, but not a boy's. We had some joke names lying about -- Sassafras was our code name for our first male child, Tinuviel (of Tolkeinian invention) our first girl, and Luigi if there were another boy out there somewhere. We returned home from our Hyrum ultrasound and warned him: 'Your name as of now is Sassafras. If you want something better, you'd better tell us who you are.' After much deliberation, the two names we settled on were surprisingly the first two we wrote down: Hyrum Spencer. This time we were better prepared. Lavinia Thalia if a girl, John Thomas Lazenby Watson if a boy. So now it's John (or John-Thomas or J.T. or whoknows) who has a name in waiting. Given Hyrum's penchants for Mario and Luigi, the code name just doesn't work anymore. But back to Lavinia.


"Preparing for a second child is really different, for me at least ... maybe it's because I'm not a multi-tasker. I have a really hard time focusing on preparing for this child to come. In my first pregnancy, that's almost all I could think about."

Her body is certainly reacting differently. More aches and pains, less volatile mood swings but more of them...

"Really? I don't remember that. ... It's one of those things that helps women prepare to get pregnant again *chuckle*"

Last time Joy had to eat first thing every day and lived with soda crackers or nuts by the head of her bed. She couldn't eat meat. This time, she needs to graze (eat regularly) but doesn't have to eat immediately and she can have meat. For a couple months, she couldn't stand the smell of my eggs cooking, but now she's enjoying them again.

"My first trimester I had to eat pretty early in the morning. I really have to sleep a lot, but Derrill says that's not different. But when I fit it in, it's different, I'm sure, especially since Hyrum has been home sick from preschool. But having him gone lots of mornings helps me get a lot of the rest I need."

Neither one has induced morning sickness. Hyrum gave her a worse time with her allergies, but then she's been on allergy shots ever since and presumably they have helped.

"I get them once a week."

The trial du jour is her circulation. Babies tend to create and exacerbate very-close veins. This time around, the good doctor has recommended a prescription -- a Prescription!!! -- for  a pair of tights. Tights. a Prescription! for Tights! Hose! What??? She had to go to the store and get MEASURED for HOSE. What???!??

"They don't even carry them. They have to order them in from an ortho-something, they give out the braces for legs and stuff. I'm just lucky there's one in Ithaca. My doctor only knew about Elmira and Corning. I found out about the Ithaca one when I told the lady in Elmira 'I live an hour away and you want me to come get measured??' I thought I would just go pick them up, like you do with normal prescriptions."

"I also bought a pregnancy belt to help with my lower abdominal and upper abdominal difficulties I'm having right now that I didn't have with my first pregnancy. So we'll see how hot I get in the summer with all the extra stuff."

Thankfully, summer doesn't get difficult around here until mid-July and Lavinia will be here and suntanned by then.

*sarcastic* "Yeah, with how much I like to go outside... No, I did like it before I had kids."

"The one thing I have done to get ready for Lavinia (besides getting the house more organized) was buy a couple of pretty dresses when I went to buy Hyrum some boots. Hyrum got the boots, but I found some really pretty, red, velvety dresses - two different sizes - and a pair of white pants to go under them. I want my daughter to be modest. None of those just underweary things that match the dress for her!"

So we're looking forward to our long-lost Lavinia joining our family. We are very happy.
"So now I'm still trying to convince myself that we're having a girl. But I'm really happy about it."

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