Saturday, February 23, 2008

OB Wise. What can I say more?

D: So as we come up to the 39th week starting here tomorrow, it is time to confess something: we're having two babies. Joy has one of them ... and I seem to have the other. We base this on circumstantial evidence and have not given me an ultrasound, but we have good reason. (If anyone is in doubt at this point, we ARE speaking tongue-in-cheek here, and no one should take us toooo seriously. Read at your own risk.)

J: "I just have this silly tendency, when I'm talking to anyone, and of course we're all a little narcissistic, thinking that the people we know are like us, so when someone tells me something about their life that sounds like a symptom of pregnancy, since I'm pregnant, I say, 'You must be pregnant then.'"
We've found out about a lot of our friends' pregnancies that way. (j/k)

You see, as we go reading through these baby books, they tell us how Joy should be feeling ... and we realize that I feel moreso.
"We've also read that the husbands have sympathy symptoms, but we never figure they would have MORE symptoms."
I'm just incredibly sympathetic.
"We read about it, he gets it ... or has had it. That's even funnier! Poor Derrill"

Classic symptoms of pregnancy:
Morning sickness: Joy didn't have any of this, and neither did I. So I'm behaving like my pregnant wife.
Lower back pain: My back has been hurting me, no matter what position I sit in or how often I stretch, for weeks now. Joy gets the occasional twinge.
"Maybe if you laid on your left side..... *LOL*"
That does seem to be the cure for anything that goes wrong, isn't it?
Joint pain: Again, my joints have been out of sorts for weeks, and Joy's are fine aside from her sciatic nerve.
Just to be REALLY silly about this, we can honestly say I haven't had a menstral cycle in ever so very long. "*LOL* oh dear! His baby's REALLY old."
And that brings us to the swelling in the tummy. Now, Joy's has been growing while mine is shrinking slightly, and this is a good thing. In fact, Joy just passed the point where hers is bigger than mine. I'm enjoying this.
Emotional swings: Joy does beat me here, but whenever I have them, we just blame it on my pregnancy and this is all Normal. ("Our OB doctor told us to tell each other every day that This Is Normal.")
Eating: The doctors tell pregnant women that they should eat smaller meals, about half-sized, every 3 hours or so. Well, guess what my doctors put me on about 6 months ago? That's right, half-sized meals every 3 hours or so. And both Joy's OB and my nutritionist try to reduce our carb intake. "yup yup"

And then I had this dream. Joy was giving birth in a medical research facility, and we were surprised to learn they were twins. One boy came out, but the doc announced there was another baby in there. Just then a giant sea monster (red like a lobster) came up and attacked the facility. We had to escape, so we shoved one of the babies in me and ran out since the other one was still in Joy.
"Not more than a couple days later, I dreamed that I had twins too"

The last week, I've been having stomach cramps, and tonight I started getting a fluttering in my stomach too. It's nothing compared to Hyrum's kicks, "who jiggles my tummy around," but it's quite entertaining.

So we have fun. Now, there's no way they're getting me on that gurney, but I might try to slip some of the pain killers.....

Bill Cosby: "Natural child birth means no drugs will be administered into the female's body during the delivery. The father can have all he wants."

No comments: