Weigh In

Joy has lost 30 pounds in the last ~15 months.
Derrill has lost 30 pounds in the last 18 months - 10 last year on South Beach, 10 May-July on not-SB, 10 since the kidney stone in October when I gave up chocolate and then had a stomach flu for Thanksgiving.
And oddly enough Hyrum hasn't gained any weight in the last few months, though he's getting taller and progressing into size 3T pants and 4T shirts. Maybe half a pound.

I also upped my weight lifting today - benching 155 pounds.

It came to pass

Pop was in a Sunday School class once when a woman shared that her favorite phrase from scripture was "And it came to pass," which opens far more verses in the Book of Mormon than any sane author would have written if he were trying to get on the bestsellers list. Wars, famines, sorrows, peace, prosperity, life ... it all comes and passes. Whatever we are going through will pass, and she found that very comforting.

Last week I was diagnosed with a parasite. I dutifully took my pills and it should have passed away by now.

But the doc thinks that isn't what's wrong with me. It's irritable bowel syndrome caused by job market stress. So I'm looking forward to another 6 months of disgusting symptoms and Metamucil. And then it will come to pass.

Yesterday I had a strange pain in my back, but it went away after a short nap. Just before bed, it started coming back. Then suddenly it hit with full force. I couldn't find any position that relieved the pain. Nothing helped. Screaming and whimpering in agony, I phoned my parents for a priesthood blessing and their counsel to hurry to the ER. Home teachers came to guard sleeping Hyrum while Joy and I spent a sleepless night at the hospital. I have never known such prolonged agony as I waited for them to admit me. But being in the waiting room and the dry and less-dry heaves finally came to pass.

Kidney stones, the CT scan said. Here, have some more drugs and some antibiotics for your infections. Oh what instant bliss and relief! Huzzah for narcotics! The pain came to pass.

The night passed away without sleep. One of my smiling nurses explained that she has had 3 children and 4 kidney stones. The kidney stones hurt worse, there's precious little you can do to prepare for them or prevent them, and nothing much anyone can do other than give you a CT scan and some narcotics. But they come to pass.


For Joy, as emotionally effected and drained by the night's events as I was, church and her myriad responsibilities passed away and she survived.

A 3mm stone is hanging around somewhere inside me, waiting to be passed. And then it will all have come to pass. Until another one comes. And passes.


A song and favorite poem, "Even This Shall Pass Away," on the subject.

Another announcement: a parasite

Somewhere in mid-August, or maybe long before, I got myself a parasite.

Cryptosporidium.

If I had HIV, this could be fatal. As it is, it has the potential to provide - without putting too fine a point on it - some gastrointestinal distress. Such a thing has been plaguing my workout sessions and evenings for 6 weeks now, so I finally went to the doctor, who ran some tests and called me promptly with the news the same day the lab got the samples. I'm on some meds and it will be gone in short order.

As a plus, I got a call from the state health department trying to figure out a) where and when I got it; and b) if I prepare food for anyone outside my family or go swimming anywhere that I might spread it. We couldn't and I don't. It spreads through contaminated water, by the by.

My doctor's best guess is that while I may be carrying this bug around, it's probably not what's really causing my discomfort. The fact that symptoms show marked signs of getting better and worse depending on exercise and stress - and that I have a lot of stress lately - leads him to think they just happened upon the cute little fellow as a byproduct and we might as well ask him to either leave or pay rent. So I am to eat more fiber, rest, and try to avoid thinking about the job market or a 2.5 year old or work or the hundred things I ought to be working on or ... riiight. This may be here for a while.

Latest Nutrition Fun

A few months ago, I told my doc I was fed up with South Beach and he sent me to a center. The center said, "that's nice" and told me to gather data while they got me a nutritionist. That took forever, but they got me someone whom I told my woes.

She turned me over to www.sparkpeople.com, a website that can suck a lot of time if you let it. Among its many uses, you can: input your food to find out not only calories, but carbs, protein, and fat intake; set goals for each of those or any micronutrient you want to eat enough of; track exercise; track any weight-related measurement; track sleep; receive lots of emails about health and nutrition (there's a fun one comparing restaurant and fast food meals); join numerous online groups to chat out your issues; write a blog; make sure you drink 8 glasses of water a day; input your own goals and track them (the Stormin' Mormon group has a goal of reading General Conference talks each week); read success stories.... There's a lot.

The main surprise for us using the nutrition tracker were how much fat there is in very little peanut butter and peanuts, so I chose to have ranch dip with my celery instead. A few other small changes like that were quick and painless.

I also renewed my Cornell gym membership and have been enjoying getting back to weight lifting (I can still benchpress my old undergrad weight) and reading econ journals while on the exercycles.

It was a lot of work and a lot of time and I didn't feel like there was a difference and I was really discouraged and dreaded meeting the nutritionist for a second time: the nice lady became Darth Vader about to choke the life out of me. It was bad. The second meeting with her ... wasn't as bad as advertised. If the first one was about telling my sad story and her realizing I was pretty sensitive, the second was about her finally telling me what her principles of good nutrition are and getting permission to not spend my life on sparkpeople obsessing over my food choices...

and finding out I've lost five pounds.

shock.

The main difference from South Beach is to add in more of the unrefined grains: about one each meal instead of one a day, and corn, peas, and potatoes can be that unrefined starch. She wants me to think of a plate that is filled with about half fruits and vegetables, one fourth lean meat, and one fourth good carbs. Milk, nuts, and other healthy things are off the plate but not out of the lifestyle. It's about "make sure you eat a little of each of these each meal" rather than "exclude everything not on this plate."

She mentioned attending a conference that compared Atkins and South Beach. Though the theoretical recommendations of the two say one thing, researchers measured what people normally consume on each diet. They got as much protein as they ought, but Atkins followers got 50% of their calories from fat and South Beachers got 35% from fat in practice, rather than the 25% that is my new goal.

It has been quite refreshing to have toast with my eggs again; müsli or granola as a snack; corn; raisins. Joy has been baking whole wheat again (hooray!). When some controls are lifted, you start learning which foods were important to you that you missed the most, like apple juice. I'm feeling more filled at each meal and don't feel as snacky between meals. As Joy and I left the appointment, she approved the plan as being much closer to what the Word of Wisdom recommends.

Best recipe to come out of sparkpeople: freeze a banana, cut it into larger pieces to put in a food processor, and blend it up. It has the texture of instant banana ice cream. Mix in whip cream or a little chocolate sauce or cinnamon or some berries or nuts and you've got a very versatile dessert.

Ear Infection

Joy says, Did this day really end? I am going to have to give an extra dose of gratitude in my prayers today for the one small miracle. I found out Hyrum has an ear ache and now he is one medicine. We hope he feels better soon. He sure is a trooper. So I can't really figure doctors out. They make you think you should wait to bring them in to get medicine, if they are sick enough and the doctor that saw Hyrum today said, well it looks like he is just about through with it. I say if you can tell he has an ear infection then you can't really be serious..... doctors. I always wish i could live without them. I am thankful for the medicine though.

Which of these is not a joke?

1 - Early last month the mayor of Topeka, Kansas stunned the world by announcing that his city was changing its name to Google. We’ve been wondering ever since how best to honor that moving gesture. Today we are pleased to announce that as of 1AM (Central Daylight Time) April 1st, Google has officially changed our name to Topeka. -- Topeka's Blog

2 - Harvard has decided to auction off 100 slots in next year's freshman class to the highest bidders. - Mankiw

3 - Blattman tells us to "Ask not what you can do for poor African children, but what poor African children can do for you."



4 - The Heritage Foundation is the originator of ObamaCare. - Sumner

5 - Let's turn the London subway into a super hadron collider. - The Independent

Selling the House on the (South) Beach

Some of you, remembering our earlier glowing reports of life on the South Beach Diet may be mildly confused at how I could be so very disappointed with it. Yes, I lost 25-30 pounds in the first three months, an unprecedented weight loss, May to July last year. Joy also lost about 20 pounds. What's to complain about?

The promise is 8-14 pounds the first two weeks and a pound a week thereafter and that pound a week has not been present since September. That's more than half a year of nothing. Not only nothing, but the 5 pounds I put on around Thanksgiving have never come off, despite spending more than a month on the stringent Level 1 and 'cheating' during level 2 to make it really level 1.5 for the last three months.

There's a difference between maintaining my weight on my own terms and following someone else's restrictions without seeing any benefit. There's a difference between maintaining when that's your goal and maintaining when you ought to be seeing progress. It's just gotten frustrating.

That, and our notoriously variable WiiFit scale pushed me over the edge. It claimed yesterday I had gained 10 pounds. Today, the 10 are gone again. But I have this problem that I believe the scale whenever it says I gain weight and I doubt it when it says I lose. This is not healthy. So when it said I had gained 10, South Beach's days were numbered.

So time to try something new! Another lifestyle. One that lets me have a little more whole wheat each day and more fruit in exchange for a little less meat. Joy thinks she might be headed toward trying a Weight Watchers system. I just want a few months proving I can hold my own on my own and enjoying it.

So, goodbye South Beach. Thank you for the 15 pounds. I appreciate it. Maybe I'll come and visit some day.

Signs of Love I Never Expected

Joy says, "We didn't even have a camera with us." I think, all things considered, you will forgive us.

Our car broke down Thursday while we were running some errands. We didn't have our cell phone. Thankfully, I knew the bus routes in that area very well and realized that if we caught the next bus in 5 minutes, we could transfer to another one at Cornell and get home right away. If not ... well, it would only be a 75-90 minute walk carrying Hyrum and some groceries.....

Hyrum, who is enamoured with the song "The Wheels on the Bus," was excited at the prospect of getting on the bus for the very first time. He ran around the little bus shelter, slamming into the glass walls. The other patrons were very patient.

We boarded the bus and headed to the back. Hyrum told me the doors on the bus go "open, shut." The driver on the bus said "Hello" instead of "Move on back," but Hyrum was excited.

So excited, he started coughing. I put my hand over his mouth to cover his cough.

Then I realized this was a more serious cough than I had anticipated. I adjusted my hand a little and changed his position as he lost the little bit of food he had eaten that day [poor little sick toddler!]. He was stunned for a moment, then lost twice as much again.

So there I sat with a cupped hand full of partially digested applesauce, food on my suit soaking my pants, on the floor ... just not on Hyrum because I had used the second's warning to make sure he missed himself. The other passengers were also clean and very nice about things.

The first thing I did was ask Hyrum if he felt better. He agreed, but was pretty shaken. I soothed him as best as I could and then we turned to the question of cleaning up. We gradually realized we had diapers and baby wipes we could use to mop things up before we left. Thank you, Joy.

We caught our buses and were home soon enough. Hy went straight to bed and stayed there quite happily. Daddy had a shower, and all was well.

Later that night, I thought about it a little more. If Derrill the young single adult had been holding a child threatening to do what Hyrum did, he most likely would have tried to distance the child from him as fast as possible. I don't want this stuff on me. Instead, my instant reaction was to keep it off of him and even to capture some in my hand in case it was only a little. My next reactions were to make sure he was feeling better and see if I could do anything to help him instead of worrying about my suit or getting this stuff off me.

I guess it's just one more way I love my son. I just didn't realize at the time I was holding love in my cupped hand.

The doc says he has strep throat, so we got some antibiotics and he managed to keep down several foods, including peanut butter, so we're hopeful he's on the road to recovery. The two of us probably have strep now, though. Yet another sign of love, I guess.

Nastiest Cracker Award

When I last went to Sam's Club (aka my new best friend) Joy - my forever best friend - told me to get some really whole grain salty crackers.

"It said Wheat Thins. You just didn't notice" she avers.

It looked like it said Things as the heading of the list and below it, wheat crackers. And we had talked about it.

So anyway, I bought these Crunchmaster Multigrain Crackers, certified Gluten Free! All Natural! Crunchy Oven Baked! 100% whole grain! Cholesterol Free! Low Sodium! Ingredients: brown rice meal, sesame seeds, potato starch, quinoa seeds, safflower oil and a few more seeds. Good stuff.

"If they're good for your health, our health wasn't ready for them." Joy told me the other day she had tried them and that they weren't agreeing with her - that she was still tasting them, in fact. So I figured this needed a man's stomach as well. "Your stomach's worse than mine!" Yes, it is.

I tried one. It wasn't that bad. It had a very distinctive taste. Quite a focaccia bread flavor.
I tried a second. It wasn't that good. There's this funny aftertaste....
I tried a third. It was NASTY. I threw the fourth one I had grabbed away.

Joy ate five. Hooray for my discerning palate. The crackers spoke to us both, from every orifice "and woke me up in the middle of the night!" And both of us happily bid them a fond farewell today as they were introduced to a watery grave.

Joy's best comment was, "If we don't return them, I want to set them on fire ... only the fumes would probably be toxic."

We are not paid by the yummy Wheat Thins, nor by the rip-your-guts-out Crunchmasters.

Riiview: 1 Year Later

This is the story of four people with the same dream: to lose weight on the WiiFit.

At first there was just Diiego (D's ego, green in the middle) and Lilac (Joy, red). Then our nutritionist told us what our proper weights should be and we realized that even if we got down to them, our WiiFit would still claim we were overweight. So we created two taller characters, the 6'11" Alter Iigo (green on the left with a goatee) and the more pedestrianly-heightened Tinuviiel (yellow).


We used the WiiFit for exercise for 6 weeks and 10 weeks respectively, but kept weighing ourselves on it regularly ~twice a week. As you see from my chart on the left, my weight fluctuated within 10 pounds for most of that year. Partly this is because the WiiFit is a terrible scale - unreliable with swings of 6 pounds from one day to the next without extremes in diet or exercise. But the pattern is pretty clear: no change.

Then came the South Beach Diet in May. Practically overnight you can see a clear break where I drop a decade and slide my way down another one. I've kept those 20 pounds off for over a month, and today's weighing was tied for my lowest in the year. Now, we'll see what 2 weeks in Italy does to that, but the results are pretty sweet.

Joy's graph on the right shows her battle to lose her pregnancy weight. You can see she has finally achieved this, with a drop starting in June when she joined me on the diet. Both of us are in spitting distance of a normal BMI compared to our proper ideal weights.

"Weight really is a strange thing. I gained 30 lbs in about three months and couldn't seem to find a way to get it off. Even working out hard every day and following the advise of a nurtritionist. But the South Beach diet has worked miracles. I am still a little impatient and wish that the weight went off as fast as it goes on, but I am so grateful that we have found a way to be healthy and lose weight. I have always a diet was just an unhealthy way to loose weight, but this has changed my life, a diet can also be a change of lifestyle and a determined choice to be healthy! The choices can be hard sometimes, but if I am really dedicated and not feeling flimsy about the choice, it is not so bad :)"

But getting back to the WiiFit. It kept our interest for a month and has been useful since. For us, its best feature was the step aerobic program that set up a friendly competition between us. I also really liked the boxing program. But it was always the same routines while My Fitness Coach gives you at least some randomization and a feeling of newness. That, and we weren't losing any weight despite doing its exercises for over an hour a day, 6 days a week. Each of us did keep using the WiiFit as an exercise log for our walks and other efforts for a month or two after we stopped using it for exercise.

Getting the WiiFit was the primary reason we got the Wii in the first place. Since then, we've added several other favorite games that we play regularly: Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, Cooking Mama, Zelda, My Fitness Coach (Joy's still going strong and I still use it occasionally).

"It's fun to play with family or friends."

And it is ... GONE

"I never would have believed I could lose weight so fast!"

That testimonial from Joy reflects our delight with the South Beach Diet. Today, very officially, Joy is below the weight she was the first time she went in to her OBGYN pregnant. She is at her pre-pregnancy weight!

"I was starting to feel that I was never going to lose the weight, like it was a permanent part of who I am."

This is a thought I know all too well. My ambition in life was to hold the line and be happy remaining there. I was thrilled to finally get below 10 pounds for every year I was old because I got older (I've been tracking that more or less since I was 5 years and 50 pounds).

"Wow. That's crazy, Derrill. Glad we broke the cycle."

Since early June, Joy has lost almost 15 pounds. That was after a largely ineffectual and very painful first two weeks when her metabolism, taste buds, and carb cravings really did reset as the book claimed. "But it took almost two whole weeks to do it." She's been dropping about 2 pounds a week on average.

Since early May, Derrill has lost 25 pounds, after a gloriously successful first two weeks of 10 pounds. So I've also been dropping almost 2 pounds a week since the diet phase.

We've been asked a number of times if we're still "on a diet." We're on a lifestyle, yes. We can't eat everything we might like indiscriminately. We have a theory you don't either. "But we have taken a couple of days off the diet," which is even approved and encouraged to keep your sanity up. The guy just encouraged people to know what constitutes breaking and how to get back on your lifestyle.

"We've enjoyed finding desserts that work with the diet" - pound cake, cheesecake, sweetened riccotta cheese (which is the filling for cannolies), pudding, peanut M&Ms, Snickers. It's been easier to get our fruits and vegetables in every day and we're actually fairly glad to eat less meat than we were doing for our nutritionist the last two years.

The real change is carbs. We have a little whole wheat bread, pita pizza, or pasta each day and really enjoy it. "My OBGYN suggested I go down to 1 grain a day when I was pregnant with Hy and I thought he was insane. But because of his suggestion, I figured that this diet would be healthy even some day when I get pregnant again." We've discovered that we don't really need a bunch of grains to fill up, while before the mashed potatoes and rice were a large part of what made the meal feel filling. "We find ways to work in our favorite foods so that it can be a lifestyle. We found your taste buds really change when you go to only one grain a day. Our fruits taste sweeter, our breads taste sweeter, and Joy - have a cow - likes dark chocolate!"

While in DC, I went off the lifestyle for a couple days since it would have been very difficult to follow and enjoyed a small pizza as well as the sandwiches they were giving me. Then I got back on track, and I've lost what I gained as a result. "I think your family is going to notice a real difference when they get here in two weeks. 25 pounds."

"When we read people's success stories in the book, we were like, 'yeah, right, whatever. No craving for carbs??' But I had misunderstood the word 'craving.' It means painfully in need of, like being addicted." Joy and I had very different experiences in those first two weeks, which is why I didn't think it made much difference. I just wasn't as addicted, probably thanks to earlier summers with Mr. Atkins. "I still like my breads. I often still think of them first. But I don't feel like I'm going to die because I don't eat them for every meal. I feel I can eat as much of the good food I want - guilt free - and not have to go hungry, and the breads are just a nice addition."

There is a third phase to the diet where we get to add a bit more grain to something closer resembling normal, but we'll get there once we've reached our ideal weights.

So we are rapidly becoming South Beach converts. It's been kind of fun as we were doing it to discover who else in the branch is converted. Who would've imagined this was even possible?? "Now is the day of our weight loss. We shall rejoice and be glad therein."

(PS - Derrill would encourage all the silent ladies who read this blog for Hyrum to pretend this is a woman's blog and actually make comments congratulating Joy. I have this theory I get fewer comments than my fellow blogging spouses because I'm a guy.)

D Before and After

The first month of results are in on the South Beach Diet! And the score is:.......

-15 pounds!

I lost about 10-12 pounds the first two weeks during "phase 1"and have kept losing about 2 more each week since. This is my single largest weight loss in one YEAR, let alone one month, in my life. Even though I'm going to stay on "phase 2" of SB for a while, I'm really not worried about losing any more for now. I will just be happy to bounce a round a new 'decade' of weight for a while and prove I can keep this off. If more does happen to come off, great. I should also mention that I have been sick, flat in bed the last week and slightly ill the week before, so I have had very little exercise for two weeks and still lost weight.

In all these weight-loss commercials, they show before and after pictures, and I've learned there are several rules you have to follow in order to do it right. First, in the before picture you need to find your tightest, ugliest clothes possible.


It turns out that my fattest picture was NOT in my tightest clothes, but in my loosest with a fairly strong wind blowing.

I call it, Stay Puft Marshmallow Graduate. Yes, I work in the nutrition department now.

*shudder*








Here is the real before shot. I tuck in my chin to make it my chins, with a look of not-so-subtle dour misery, not to mention showing off the thinning of my hair, and the buttons that are straining to stay on. Not too bad.








Now, technically, for the After pose you wear something completely different, suck in your gut, smile big, and have better lighting and all the rest, but I did want something a little more comparison worthy. So here I am in the same shirt, trying to look as bad as before:

You will notice that the shirt actually has room to give now. The buttons aren't straining and there's no horrendous belly bulge.


But maybe you'd like a more sensible before and after comparison.



The results are more subtle. There's more definition to my chin and less of an angle on those buttons as they move down. It's kind of hard to see Toooo much dif though. Guess that's why they choose 35 pound losers instead of 15.



For a more objective measure:

I can get the top button to its hole, though I'm another couple pounds away from closing it. So my neck size is a good 1/2" - 1" smaller.

Now it just so happens that "My Fitness Coach" asks us to measure various parts of our body on a regular basis for comparison. Not only has my neck lost 1/2-1", my chest, waist, and hips all lost 1", and my thighs and biceps are slightly better toned as well.

This has convinced Joy to start in the SB Diet this week as well. Today is her fourth day. We are also pleased to note (if this is going to be a lifestyle for us) that Hyrum does NOT like white bread, but is happy to have his peanut butter on grainy whole wheat.




How do you do it? The rest of this post is just a short description of the South Beach Diet. For more info, I recommend the book above the website.

Phase 1 is the tough part. For two weeks:
You eat a LOT of fresh-as-possible vegetables.
Lean meats are good, as are low-fat dairy products and nuts.
You have a small snack before meals and a dessert, mostly ricotta cheese with sugar substitute and the extract of your choice (vanilla, almond, lemon, cocoa powder).

And that's about it. It's very Atkins-like, but with Atkins I only lost about 2 pounds a week, not 10 in two weeks. The advertisement says 8-14 pounds. The advertisement also claims you will have no more cravings for highly processed carbs, but this is silly. You don't undo 30 years of food training in 2 weeks. I will admit that my carb cravings have lessened.

In Phase 2, you add in fruits and whole grains because you really do need those in your diet (not to mention for your own sanity). Plus dark chocolate comes in. I have decided I really enjoying just sucking on a chunk of dark chocolate until it coats my mouth and throat so that I'm drowning in it. Just a dab'll do ya. The advertised weight loss is 1 pound a week until you reach your goal. Whole wheat pasta is better than I thought it would be, and I've always been a fan of nutty, grainy whole wheat bread (well, since Germany anyway). Sweet potatoes replace white.

In Phase 3, you add a few more unprocessed grains. Anytime you feel yourself gaining again (or just decide to enjoy Christmas), you go back to Phase 1, take it back off, and return. Refined sugars, white rice, white bread, white potatoes and pasta never return to your lifestyle, and you have less corn than the typical American. You can enjoy them occasionally, of course, just in moderation.

He has plenty of caveats in the book along the lines of, "look, you need to enjoy this and if you don't you won't stick with it, so if you just HAVE to have your 1/2 cup of ice cream every day, do it and follow the rest of the plan as best as you can. If you can make it 1/3 or a 1/4 cup, that's even better. Don't kill yourself."

Going to the beach

The South Beach, that is.

One of the transitions from student life is that I no longer have access to the student health center and the Cornell Healthy Eating Program. CHEP paired me up with a nutritionist, a nutrition doctor, a therapist, and a drug-prescribing psychologist (who said I didn't need her). We worked together intensely for the better part of 6 months and then off and on for the next year to try to create a healthier, happier Derrill.

The diagnosis was: insulin resistance. That's kissing cousin to diabetes, but not there yet. It meant a whole new approach to food. I've been eating 5 small meals a day, 120-150g of protein each day, and only 30-40g of carb per meal. It was a big adjustment at first, but I got used to it and I've been following it pretty well for the last two years.

The problem was that even though the nutrionist's electronic gadgetry said I was losing fat and gaining lean muscle mass (to the tune of a 30 pound improvement), it hasn't translated into even a one pound difference on the scale.

So now that I have a whole new doctor, he's putting me on a whole new lifestyle, the South Beach lifestyle. For the next two weeks, I essentially pretend I'm on the Atkins diet, only I focus on lean meats and cheat less. Promised weight loss: 8-14 pounds in 2 weeks. Then I move to a more manageable lifestyle that includes fruits and whole grains sparingly until I get to my goal weight, at which point the management gets a little looser.

In two weeks, I'll post Before and After pictures and give my review of the SB Diet Phase One.

On Thursday while picking up a backpack to carry Hyrum in, I also picked up a new Wii game: My Fitness Coach. She gives a pretty decent workout. "As far as we know." We know we sweat and we know our legs HURT after the first few days. It was difficult to walk kind of hurting. I got better Sat-Sun and Joy will hopefully be back to normal tomorrow. We walk a lot - cardio is not our style. "I always want to do cardio though."

Prayers and well wishes are always appreciated. Anti-testimonialists, please wait to post your negative results until I do the before and after post.

Whaddya mean...

... I'm not getting any younger?? That's ridiculous! I'm only 30 for crying out loud. It's a number. There should not be any significant, real difference in turning over a decade. Honestly. People are just way too uptight about arbitrary cutoff points. ... And then this happens.

Among my New Year's Resolutions, I decided to make the attempt to have no more than one dessert each week. In preparation for this noble endeavor, I splurged before the New Year. On New Year's Eve I had a hearty double helping of the family chocolate pecan pie. Ohhhh, it was sooooo goooood! The next morning we headed over to our friends for some Scandinavian Aebelskivers (ball-shaped pancakes), which aren't dessert but the stuff you have them with is. After enjoying my fill, I played with their kids like I normally do: mostly picking them up and spinning them around until I get too dizzy.

At one point, I decided it would be a nice thing to lay down on the floor. When I got up, I had a conversation with my stomach that I've never had. You know how your parents always told you that if you eat too much candy, it'll make you sick? I never had that happen before. But my stomach up and says, "Dude, what are you trying to do me?? You've given me nothing but sugar and carbohydrates for the last 12 hours! Are you nuts? And on that kind of energy you expect me to play and spin around? If you keep this up, you won't keep it down."

So I knocked it off and didn't eat for the next eight hours while my stomach got back to normal (wasn't hungry).

Then last week I'm at my parents' house and I'm helping them get a new treadmill into place. At one point I picked up a little too much treadmill with too much back and not enough leg. I normally pick things up with my legs and am just fine. But I really pulled something this time. My back has been hurting me all week.

Dude. I'm getting old. ;)

For those who remember, about this time last year, I told everyone I am insane for taking on too many work projects. I predicted that my hair would start graying rapidly between work and baby. Well, here are the before and after pictures. I also had this sweet streak of bright white in my goatee, but it disappeared when I trimmed it this week. I'm actually proud of my growing gray -- makes me look more professorial compared to the freshmen. (That's why I bother mentioning something you can barely see if you squint just right.)

149 and 189

"This time, the numbers do not reflect the number of days we've been married"
That's right, dear. That would be 1090. Happy 1,090th day anniversary, dear!

Last week Monday we took Hyrum in for his two month check up. He got his shots and for the first time we saw him in Real Pain - not just I-haven't-been-fed-in-5-minutes or I-don't-wanna-bath pain, but Real Pain. It was real hard. He recovered manfully.
"Daddy held him."
And thought about Joseph Smith the entire time.
"Sorry, Daddy"
Joy came back in the room just as they started the poking. No fun.

But the real problem was with his measurements. He weighed 8 pounds, 2 ounces, a mere 1'1 above his weight last month. And he'd only grown 1 cm from the hospital's measurement (which I think HAS to have been off because he's much longer to me than he was before. And given that my arm hasn't shrunk and he doesn't fit nearly so well in it as he used to, I should know.)
"And you should know" Joy says as I typed that.
At 8 pounds 2, that put little Hy below the 3% line. Now, I've been hanging out with a bunch of nutritionists lately and I do my dissertation work on malnourished people. One of the primary ways we measure if a child is chronically malnourished is if they're more than 2 standard deviations from the norm ... below the 3% line. I freaked. I was always so Proud of our skinny little boy, and had no idea he was that underweight.
"I wasn't as worried about the percentage at first. I was just wondering if my baby was really hungry for food I wasn't giving him. I didn't feel that the percentage told me that until Derrill told me how concerned he was."

Our doc here didn't give us much guidance for anything we weren't already doing. So we called my uncle the doctor. He said 1) don't worry: the 3% comes from fat Iowa babies who eat corn and milk from the cow every day; and 2) gave us an idea how fast he needs to grow and some things we could do to let us know if we should still worry. I never appreciated Uncle Sherm as much as I did right then.
"So far I like Uncle Sherm just fine"
He's in Colorado. The first time we called, he was out in his pasture fixing his horse fence.

So anyway, we've been working HARD to get Hyrum up to code. Joy mostly. I have contributed mostly by staying up until the wee hours to give Hyrum a middle-of-the-night feeding (and getting a lot more work done in the process), and by cheering on my wife. As has been par for the course, we've had to change our plan of attack on a near-daily basis. On Wednesday, Joy took him to the doctor's office to get him weighed.

And the result is ....... he gained nine ... TEEN ounces in only nine days!

That puts him at a whopping 9 pounds 5, otherwise known as 149 ounces. He still has a lot of room to grow - he's not a chubby baby yet by any stretch, but we can't see his rib cage anymore, and that is quite good.
"He's got some chubby cheeks"

And what does 189 have to do with all this? To celebrate, Joy took me on a date to go bowling. Even though we haven't been bowling for over a year thanks to our tendonitis problems, I scored a 189 on our first game; my fourth-best game ever. I was pretty stoked.

Still no word on a new camera. These are all pre-feed Hyrum.

Gaining Weight

I haven't had the heart to write this post until now, since the emergencies with our baby appear to be over at present. It has been several days of real panic.

Sunday we found what we thought was blood in our babies diaper. Along with the fact that he just hadn't been eating enough to keep a bird alive this really was more than I could take and I wept much. We decided that we should give Hyrum a blessing and invited a neighbor, Michael, over to help Derrill give the priesthood blessing. We did receive some measure of comfort from the blessing. Derrill's mother suggested we call her brother Sherm who has worked in a Neo-natal unit and is a family practice doctor. When we called Sherm he said that the orange spots in his diaper where normal, called brick dust, and that they would go away (later we found out they are more normal for an infant that is dehydrated).

Sherm also talked to us about feeding our baby and suggested that we visit with a lactation consultant. He said that we needed to get 10 oz of milk into our baby a day. He also suggested that some things that would help me relax for trying to nurse and to use a warm cloth for 5 minutes before feedings. Additionally a good friend, Marcy suggested somethings that have been very helpful.

So armed with new advise, I was able to get Hyrum to nurse for 4 to 5 feedings before we saw the Pediatrician on Monday. I had been somewhat relieved by his starting to nurse. We set up a schedule and time for me to get done with feedings (so they wouldn't last 2 hours anymore).

Then we went to the Pediatrician and found out that Hyrum had lost at least 15% of his birth weight. A parent should be worried if the baby looses 10%. We discussed feeding options with the doctor and he suggested I see a lactation consultant also. I spoke to the lactation consultant on the phone and made an appointment to see her the next day.

PLAN: We would feed him mother milk from a syringe and pump 10 times a day, by Wednesday if he had not gained at least 2 oz then we would start to suppliment with formula, and if he hadn't gained any by Friday it would be the hospital and IV fluids for him. I was somewhat panicked and therefore fed him every two hours trying to get more than 10 feedings a day.

The visit with the lactation consultant went well and we rented a hospital type pump so that we could more efficiently extract mother's milk.

Wednesday we went in to see the doctor and happy day our baby had gained 7 oz in the two days that had past. I was so relieved! There is more to do, I still have the goal of breast feeding him, which is not happening at present. But I feel very happy with his health and that things are going in the right direction. Heavenly Father has been so good to us. I am so grateful for our sweet little one and have faith that things will continue to improve.

The Short Version

Hyrum was born by C-section at 3:56 am on March 11.


He is 7 pounds 3 and 21 inches. (It's easy to remember: 7x3=21)

Mother and baby are doing fine, but are very tired since not a one of us got any sleep last night.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD,
HYRUM SPENCER WATSON.

The Long Version

On March 10, Hyrum's due date, we drove up to our regular doctor's appointment in Montour Falls. He was a touch concerned that Joy's blood pressure was slightly high, so sent her over for a non-stress test at the hospital. Contrary to its name, it was a very stressful test. They were more concerned because Hyrum's heartbeat showed more decelerations (from the 140-150 range down to the 100-120 range) than accelerations, so the doc said he didn't want us to go home. The plan was that they would give Joy some cervidal to thin out her cervix and prepare her to be induced on Tuesday, March 11.

Hyrum did not like the cervidal. His heart rate dropped to 86. So they yanked the medicinal string out without warning -- freaking Joy immensely -- and called the doc. Dr. Saks said this meant that he wouldn't be able to stand labor, so they couldn't induce her and would have to bring him out themselves.

This was decided at 3am. At 3:56, Hyrum's head was brought out of her stomach. He coughed and immediately began to cry with the breath of life. Then he thrust his hand upward into the light. It was quite dramatic. They got him all cleaned off and awarded him first an 8 and then a 9 on the APGAR scale. He weighs in at 7 pounds 3, and is 21 inches long, so he's a tall, slender thing of delicate beauty.

He has brownish hair and the universal blue eyes nearly all babies start with. We think he looks a lot like Joy's brothers, DeWayne and Doug. The nurses agree that he is a very well-behaved baby, and he really doesn't cry very much at all yet. He likes laying down on Mommy and Daddy, who are thrilled and happy as can be.

Joy is recovering nicely, up and walking about today. Neither of us got a wink of sleep last night, and Hyrum appears obliging, so hopefully there will be some z's in our near future. We expect to be in the hospital Wednesday and Thursday, and we'll see if we get our "get-out-of-Schuyler-expensively" card Thur afternoon or Friday morning. Guests are welcome, but we do recognize the distance is a bit off-putting.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD,
HYRUM SPENCER WATSON

Was Healthy in St. George

I had a great time in St. George taking care of Grandma Straw. I am so glad that Mom and Dad Watson let me help with her knee surgery recovery. I was the last person to stay with her. Mom stayed with her for the first month. I helped grandma get her exercises organized and then helped her get on her own with driving and exercises. Grandma had all the time in the world to visit and I enjoyed having the company.

My allergies were very minimal in St. George so I was almost a completely healthy pregnant lady there (for the first time in my pregnancy). My allergies have just been 3 times worse since I got pregnant. I survive just fine, but it was nice to feel so healthy for a couple of weeks.

Being at Grandma Straws we don't go many places, but Harmon's, and the bank :D. Grandma likes to watch the news while she eats, so I saw more news those two weeks than I have seen in my lifetime, only having turned on the TV once in my life to see news on purpose myself (the day of 9/11)

It was a delightful time and I was very happy to give mom a break. One of the best things for me was the feeling of being able to contribute to a loving family who has already given me so much I can never figure out to repay, but I am learning that is what it is to be family -- giving and being there for each other. I love you all

P.S. I am now is California for Christmas. I am so excited to see Derrill today