2,123 days later...

... and we still love being married. Especially me. I love being married.

Joy is
my support,
my most understanding friend,
my co-conspirator,
the amazingly wonderful mother of my son,
my sleeping pill,                              [no, seriously, I'm very thankful for this!]
my counselor,
my sunshine,
my hope,
my peace,
my joy.

Joy makes me bread and oatmeal cookies just about every week, all just for me. She always makes sure I have time for my calling and scripture study, and keeps me accountable for my home teaching. She keeps our home a safe haven. She encourages me to reach higher and helps me become the man I want to be. While she sometimes redirects me and adds counsel to my goals, she is unfailingly supportive.

Hyrum adores his mother. He may not always listen to her and he's not always very soft with her, but he loves her and wants to be her friend. Almost everything I love about my son I owe to my eternal companion. Without her patience and unending dedication, he would not be where he is today.

Joy has been keeping up with her continuing education credits to renew her certification as a counselor. Even six months pregnant, she has a strong desire to follow Pres. Kimball's advice and learn how to grow more vegetables for our family (coming soon to some food storage cans near us!). She maintains the highest standards of cleanliness in what she watches, reads, and listens to. She loves the Sabbath day and keeps it holy like nobody I know.

I had planned on writing more, but I seem to be out of time tonight. So when you read this while I'm in DC, know I love you, Friendly Friend.

May Pictures 1

Far too many wonderfully fun, interesting, exciting, picture and note and blog-worthy things have happened in the last month so we've had no time to blog about ANY of them properly. Just a couple pictures of Hyrum to keep the grandparents mollified. ... And I still don't have time to do anything justice (I really wish more people had my problems) so here are some random pictures of our adventures this month. A faster way than trying to remember and comment on everything.

FINLAND - Derrill's work conference, May 14-16




An example of the architectural touches and colors that are everywhere (in the part of the city where I wandered anyway).






In the city hall (where we had dinner one night) is this fascinating interlocking finger statue.







The roof of the dining, exhibition, cultural hall of the city hall. It was actually my least favorite dinner there - too many very unusual spices: I couldn't have more than a bite of the tomato salad and I was with a Hindu friend who couldn't eat the meat (oversalted salmon and beef) so I pondered what a South Beacher does when the only thing he could really enjoy is the bread....

NEW YORK CITY - For our 5th anniversary, Joy and I left Hyrum with Pop and Boo (Thank you!) and joined Steve and Emilee (thank you!) for a day in the Big Apple.



Attraction #1: The Statue. We had a lot of fun in line listening to the steel drum players, the trumpeter with a stereo system for accompaniment, the contortionist, and the proselytizers. Tickets to the crown are sold out months in advance, so we missed out on that. But I got to touch the base of the statue! Look for pictures of everyone posing as The Lady a bit later.




Miss Liberty's Book: July 4, 1776. A pretty good book. Have I mentioned I like my camera's zoom?





We wandered randomly around Chinatown. Each of us took turns choosing which direction to go when we came to an intersection. We explored stores, bought local foods, gave some grapes to a guy who was hungry, and had fun soaking it in for a little bit.




We made our way to Central Park where a family who didn't speak any of the 5 languages we speak took our picture.






Times Square. A more wretched hive of scum and villainy I hope I never meet. But we did explore the M&M store!




To the Subway!

SIX FLAGS
And here's some more fun for Hyrum at Six Flags.

Painting and Working Together

Part spring cleaning, part home repair and improvement, part insanity. We've been wanting to paint the house and I proposed that rather than planning a major offensive, we should play economist and ask what the next part is we wanted to improve. Hyrum's room (before shot). Definitely. Scratches on the white walls from about 4 different kids and their furniture.

I sketched out a schedule for us to get it done this week. If all went well, we'd be done yesterday. If not, we'd have Monday to fall back on before I leave Tuesday for a work conference in Finland. We'd mentally plan on Monday, get paint on Tuesday, clean on Wed-Thur, put the first coat on Friday evening and let it dry while we played with the Petersons, then put on the second coat Saturday and Hy wouldn't know the difference.

Nothing went according to plan.

It all worked perfectly. (after shot of the same wall)

We did minimal planning on Monday. Tuesday was exhausting and Hyrum was miserable, so we didn't get the paint. We put him to sleep in our room and cleaned his room instead. Wednesday we got the paint and supplies and I taught Hyrum to say "Where's Mommy" when we couldn't see her anymore in the store. Thur we did a little cleaning but were definitely not ready, then we had to cancel playing as Hyrum got a fever. No painting on Friday, but Joy did prep work while I watched Hyrum.

Then in one great gasp of effort, we got the entire room painted twice on Saturday, spent a few hours out of the house, and put Hyrum to sleep in his newly painted room!

You'll notice in the shots that there's not much difference between the old white (left wall) and the creamy off-white "Homestead Resort Sunwash" we chose (right wall and ceiling). It's a little yellow and we're glad it's not more yellow, though a little darker wouldn't have hurt anyone's feelings. Eventually we'll paint some musical notes and a song or two on the walls, add a border, some nice stuff like that. The real difference is that the walls are clean and the scratch marks are concealed (well, mostly, but if you go looking for them, you get what you deserve).

We're also very proud of how we worked together on this project. We have such different ways of working on things that we still find it difficult to work on the same project. Usually we break things into smaller pieces and I do my part and she does hers and we put it together and it works.

Joy has been amazed all over the place that when she turned the planning and responsibility over to me (a leap of faith since she is the more detailed planner), she also managed to not feel overwhelmed by the project, which cut down on any communicated stress between us. I in turn let her decide many of the details without complaint which helped her feel in control too. I'd rearrange what we were doing that day and she would help us figure out how to get it done. It was a very good use of our complementary skills.

And it's done and it's happy.

Joy says about the happy weekend we had, "We had a lot of time on Friday night, in memory of playing with Steve and Emilee, for our date night we played two games at the same time. I think it was just as confusing, but it was fun. We rediscovered Carcasonne and Starfarers of Catan (2 player version). I'm looking forward to playing them again."

Friends, Service, Home Improvement Projects, and No One Dying of Typhoid

Joy says, "It was a great weekend on little sleep. It started out with Mommy reading scripture with Hyrum and feeding him before Daddy got home."

I had promised that I was responsible for dinner because it was my night for the date.

"And that made me feel free to not have to make any dinner for that night. So I totally exploded and made dinner for Sunday night instead."

Which is her preference anyway - making dinner for a future is much happier for her than cooking for today. "Less stressful, more enjoyable."

"So, feeling well prepared, Derrill got home with ... PIZZA!" PIZZA! Whole wheat crust pizza delivered as I walked up to our door from tiny local pizzeria Pizza Aroma. It was Nice. "Hearty and Tasty." Joy's comment throughout was "This is very flavorful, but still good." I teased her about the word 'but' - I think flavorful pizza is great because it is flavorful, not despite.

Then I took her out on a play date. "Which was easier to prepare for because we were all ready which made it nice to go. When we go play games with our friends, we put Hyrum down for the night at their house." He sleeps through Guitar Hero, Mario games, and loud Uno riots remarkably well. "I'm always amazed."

"We had a nice time visiting with them. We also played some games. I got to do the drums and the vocals. They have a great Beatles Guitar Hero where we know lots of songs and that makes it fun." The regular Guitar Hero gets old since the four of us only know about 5-10 songs of their 80 or whatever it is. "Twist and Shout!" Beatles songs are interesting in part because the Bass has a harder part than the lead guitar, and since Shari likes to be the lead guitar, I get the harder parts. "We played til my wrist gave out on me."

"Then we played Uno. It was fun hashing out what rules we were going to play." People were amazed at how many I wanted to clarify before the game started, but they weren't half so many as the ones we later debated during the game. "It was all friendly, and we all won at least once." Now variants to me: go again when you play a wild card (we ruled that one overpowered); ask the person you want to win what color she would like "That was cute"; and kiss your spouse if you play the same card "same color, same number."

"Then we got home and stayed up late together to read Potter."

Saturday morning was the Primary activity. When they called Joy to be a Primary teacher, there was a whispered warning that 'maybe I could help her out occasionally.' They asked me (and also Joy) to teach the kids about the symbolism of the Passover meal. Joy and another sister passed out the food while I explained the stories - not entirely in costume, but definitely with props. "I appreciated that you did it Derrill because I didn't want to do that part. I could've, but didn't want to."

I had a lot of fun. It was interesting to see what each group of kids remembered about Moses and the children of Israel. Some kids started talking about the tabernacle in the wilderness, another kid stole my thunder and told about the last plague before mentioning the others including details about the blood on the doorposts and on and on, and several kids got confused between Moses and Jesus. We served them a little chicken (instead of lamb - not my fault), romaine lettuce for the bitter herbs, matzo, and grape juice courtesy of the Primary. I told the story of the Passover as it happened to us (one group asked me if this really happened and I got to bear testimony that, yes, it did. Well before my time, but it did.) and when the Primary leader came to switch groups, I asked 'Moses' if it was time to go to the promised land and cheered them away.

One of the youth was kind enough to watch Fantasia 2000 with Hyrum and follow him around the building afterwards. Hy was happy to find us. "I had a really great time helping. I helped prepare the plates to go out to the kids and I really enjoyed visiting with Sis. Haney." Joy identified her as a kindred spirit.

Then we got home and took a nap it was very painful to wake up from. "Only because of its brevity." Joy finally convinced me that she was interested and happy to take over a house project that I was willing but not looking forward to: repairing our leaky roof by putting on another coat of aluminum stuff. I mixed the goo while Joy swept the roof, then she scrambled on up and started painting the roof while I cared for Hyrum and let him practice saying "yes." "That's going to take some time since he's accustomed to just echoing, but I think we'll get it."

"Well that project was bigger than I'd planned! Derrill seemed to have a better idea of what it entailed. I thought 'Half hour - no problem.'" *chortle* "Two hours later and not done yet I decided I'd better stop. Two blisters, blackened hands, black up my arms, on my legs past my knees (seeing as how I'd worn shorts and all)." I meanwhile, had discovered that rubbing alcohol is not the same thing as mineral spirits because it certainly didn't clean the aluminum off my hands. "So we had nothing to clean it off with! And it was kind of painful. I do have some exhema and the aluminum was pretty rough on my hands and legs." The Dawn foamy dish soap did a decent job, but left a lot to be desired. We both figured we'd be colored for several days. Thankfully, we had managed to keep Hyrum away from it. I went to the store last night to get some kerosene and that washes it off very quickly. So the next time someone like me googles: How to clean off aluminum mobile home roofing they will find this blog telling them to use kerosene.

Course, now the house smells like a fire trap inside and out after Joy bathed in aluminum, in kerosene, in water, and in skin moisturizer. I am very thankful for her. I don't like new heights - I'm fine with old heights, but new ones aren't my friends, and I didn't really trust our roof to hold my weight, so I was apprehensive and she saved me. My hero!

We were in so much pain when we went to bed! What a day. Oh right, and Friday we were fasting because one my mission areas was doing a 40-day fast and I had signed up for Friday. So this was the day of and after and while I was struggling with that evil scale that lied to me.

And we're all pretty healthy finally - no strep, no typhoid, no dysentery, ... "just the normal allergies." And today the Primary grabbed me to lead the music singing "Follow the Prophet" (a real learning experience for me!) while Joy taught her kids about Easter. Now she needs to go pick up the sister missionaries to feed them stuffed peppers. I need to do some cleaning, some table setting, and our son will probably wake up from his 4 hour nap eventually..... "Could he really still be asleep??" If not, he's happy. "Well, he didn't sleep well last night....." (fade)

Valentines Day - belated: A Joy post

[After a serious brainstorming session with her calendar, Joy remembers why we never blogged about Valentines Day: we celebrated the day before (13th), only to be interrupted by the CO leak.]

So for the first time we weren't sick, but it was a crazy weekend. I made breakfast. I think I gave it to you in bed. I think so. Then we got ready and went to the temple with Hyrum. I did some initiatories and found that Derrill and Hyrum were outside - someone had made them feel that Hyrum wasn't welcome in the lobby. But the temple presidency made us feel like we were welcome two weeks later when we brought him. I had felt the Spirit really strong when I did those three names and then sent Derrill in to do initiatories.

And then we [I dunno, Joy, I think we went to Sam's Club first.] So my memory's not 20-20. We went straight home from the temple. So the rest of the trip I got to smell my really yummy smelling flowers that Derrill got for me at Sam's Club. They were tulips. I took pictures of them at various stages of growth. They are the best smelling flowers Derrill has ever gotten for me. They would fill the hall with flower scent when we got them home.

Later when we got home, Derrill made yummy food. I'm sure it had shrimpies in it, if I remember correctly it had really yummy garlic buttery sauce and noodles.

Then that night I thought I was in charge of what we were doing for the date and I was going to surprise him, but he had already seen the game I bought. [She left it open, out of its wrapping, and visible.] Because at Christmas I got a gift card and I got the Wii game Marioparty 8 (thank you, Grammy!). And it was really fun.

But Derrill had also gotten me a movie for Valentines - Pride and Prejudice. We like Pride and Prejudice. We might have watched some of it Sunday, but Derrill being the gentleman that he is, he let me choose to play my game. Did you like it? [Yes, I did.] I'm glad I got it. I like it.

Then around 9? o'clock at night was when the CO alarm went off. I remember we got Hyrum up from being asleep and you called 9-11 and the whole thing took about an hour. We got back in the house around 10. I think we'd already stopped playing the game because we were going to put away our groceries - when it's freezing outside, it doesn't matter if your groceries stay in your car a little longer. [Well, we HAD been baking bread to set off the alarm, so clearly we had stopped the game.] Yeah, cause it was the oven that set off the alarm. So the Fire Department came over for the first time in my life. It was pretty exciting. Hyrum and I listened to music in the car while Derrill took care of the firemen.

And I would like to issue a warning to anyone whose CO detector goes off: Do not open your doors or windows to air out your apartment if you're going to call 9-1-1. They can't get a correct reading for you when they come over if you do that. Even though everything online says you should do that.

So after the FD left, we ended the night by putting away groceries and meat in freezers. It was a long night. I think we got to bed by 1am, somewhere around there. [It takes a while to properly bag Sam's Club meat.]

And the next day we taught our last temple prep class and went to the young married fireside. It was a busy weekend! Until the CO leak happened, we had a pretty good Valentines I think. It had been a pleasant day together.

And I loved my flowers.

Random Memories of Family

Oh, mystic random picture generator, what memories do you hold for us tonight while Joy is singing with a choir and Hyrum sleeps soundly?

August 24, 2004

To celebrate my birthday and the passing of my Qualifying exams, my girlfriend - the Lovely and Gracious - baked me a Q-cake (a spice cake with bananas). It was a delightful surprise and the first birthday we celebrated together.







My Aunt Virginia gave us some money for our wedding with the stipulation that we had to use it to get something that would be a long-lasting memory. So we bought this beautiful frame and a picture of the temple where we were sealed for time and eternity.








At the Trumansburg Demolition Derby ... probably around Mother's Day 2006. We sat on the front row as I experienced the carnage for the first time and were splattered with mud and dirt. We try to go every year, but I don't think any year has been as awesomely impressive as that first time. ... Aside of course from the time or two that cars caught fire.

My brother and his brand new bride walking out of the Salt Lake Temple, May 6, 2006. I was among the first to catch sight of them. For some reason, they - like we the year before - were separated from each other for quite some time after the wedding. I hung out with him for a while, then went to explain to everyone else what the hold up was, only to wait another 15 minutes. I think he was adjusting her tiara.







Steve stands dutifully while his boutonniere is adjusted. Meanwhile, Aunt Corinne examines the train. She pronounces it quite lovely and points out some of the features to Grammy until Emie decides it's time to move on.

Here I am, fighting in the trenches of the Elbonian/Swiss war.

Not really. It's the Groton fair and the sign said children of ALL ages were allowed in. So I was loud in.




Summer 2007 - One of Joy's best harvests. Almost more tomatoes than she could eat in the height of her tomato-mayonnaise sandwich phase. It was at that point that I formulated the theory that bread and salads were merely vehicles for disguised fry sauce - lots of tomatoes, lots of mayonnaise-based sauce ... fry sauce.










Hyrum briefly laid claim to Joy's temple bag as his own carry-around. Any time we left the house, he would ask for his bag and be quite upset if we couldn't find it.





Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

The Italian peacocks were disdainful of the tourists' attempts to make them show their tails.







At Christmas 2009, Hyrum delivers a present to Aunt Emilee.









Also at Christmas 2009, an updated Watson Family picture is taken. This is my edit of the base picture. We're still awaiting the final print. From left to right: the people who don't like nicknames; Pop and Gamma Boo; the Lovely and Gracious, the Permagrin Baby, and yours truly.

During that Christmas, Steve went from goatee to mustache, and I got to say, I really think it suits him and his work on Spanish lit.

The End of the World

I've been meaning to talk about this for a few weeks now: the chance that you or I could be killed this weekend on Channel 9. Okay, not really.

(You may want to stop the video at the end of the song - even the ads for College Humor's other fare can be quite inappropriate. Courtesy Today's Big Thing. Contains zombies.)

But when I watched this, it got me thinking about The End of the World As I Knew It. (Funny thing, that). I realized that the world as I knew it has ended quite frequently. The last time the world ended was in September. When the world ends, it's not just a change in lifestyle, but a near-permanent rearranging of everything. It affects who I think I am and how I relate to the world, not just narrow confines. Adam would call it a shattering as you try to rearrange the pieces and create a new person from the old.

Though that reconsitution is never easy, the end of the world can be a good thing! Hyrum's birth ended the world as I knew it. Joy's too. It's a more complex, physically and emotionally-draining world, but a world with much greater sweetness and delight in little things.

Most of the time, the world ends without warning. The world as I knew it ended 6 years ago next week when I met Joy. It ended again shortly after we were married as my dissertation was shot down and I began doubting myself from the center out. It ended with little warning in the rain on the streets of East Germany while I lay waiting for an ambulance. It ended the night my date reached up to try to kiss me and I discovered for the first time there was hope for even me. ... Other people seem to have a lot to do with the end of the world.

Sometimes, though, the world ends on schedule. It ended on graduating from BYU and to a lesser extent from high school, but oddly enough not when graduating from Cornell - what really changed? not much. I expected a lot more to happen concurrently that didn't. I had fair warning when my missionary world was going to end and Hyrum came right on schedule.

The world can also end so gradually, you don't notice. Per was going to end the world and invite me into several new ones, though I had no idea of that when I met him. The world slowly ended while I sat on the nursery room floor to play with and teach the 2 year olds in our church. Regular temple attendance and repentance have continually changed the world as I knew it - always for the better, seldom obviously at first. The world ended one day studying the scriptures as I decided whether to go in to economics or German, but I had no idea what I was doing to the thin-spread, multi-majored undergrad Derrill.

Will moving to the ward be the end of the world as I know it? It felt like it last night after my last branch presidency meeting. But probably not. Then again, my Dad's first comment just happened to be mine also when we learned about it: "Time to grow up." Maybe it will all just be part of the gradual end of the world as I move from student to (someday) teacher - a consummation devoutly to be wished?

Golden Christmas Moments

We flew to my parents' house in California for Christmas. My brother (Steve) and his wife (Emie) were there with us [Derrill, Joy, Hyrum, Pop, and Grandma Boo] for 10 days, plus my Dad's mom (Grammy) for Christmas Day. The crown of Christmas was Hyrum's experience at church, which I already talked about. Here are a few other golden moments from our Christmas stay.

Joy also really enjoyed her experience at the Christmas program. "I was really happy to be feeling well enough to sing with the choir, and I gave about all I had when we sang the Hallelujah Chorus. So when we got to the last song, Silent Night, it was a great blessing that Dannon Story was singing my descant with me because I pooped out in some places." Pop had taught his choir Joy's descant an earlier year because it's so beautiful. "And Dad thought I did great with the sopranos, and I never get to sing soprano, so that was fun."

The thing I was most looking forward to was taking my sweetheart to the LA temple where I proposed to her 5 years ago [on the very stone in our new title picture] and doing some temple work. When I proposed, they were closed. This year, for some strange reason, they were open. They set up a special sealing session just for us so we could be extra romantic. It was very cuddly. "And Derrill, as a very romantic gesture, took me to eat at the temple cafeteria. This is romantic to me because it reminds me of when I used to serve in the Provo temple and how much I loved being at the temple, even more than for doing service. He knows it's special to me. I feel very grateful that the thing that Derrill wants to do the most when he has time off is go to the temple. I really married a man who cherishes the Lord's house and it makes me cherish him even more."

It was so great to see Grammy. We really missed being with her last Christmas. Seeing Grammy was the primary reason that we wanted to go to CA for Christmas rather than have mom and dad come here. "When I was talking to Grammy around the dinner time on Christmas day, I told her that I thought that our son looks just like Pop, her son. She told me that Derrin, her son, looked exactly like Hyrum when he was Hyrum's age. Then Grammy told me that he would be thrilled to know that. So, before the dinner started and Pop was in the room putting things on the table, Grammy told him how he had looked exactly like Hyrum when he was little. It was really special to me because it felt like such a unifying moment, seeing the generations so similarly and that Grammy his own mother saw it too. Pop and Hyrum are two peas in a pod not just because they look like each other. They are definitely bosom buddies. Even across the miles in Ithaca, Hyrum thinks of his Pop frequently, with wonder, and with urgency."

Speaking of Grammy, she loved Hyrum's toys. It was very fun, the night she got to town, seeing her play with this toy where you knock a ball through a hole with a hammer and the lion plays you music. She was so taken with it, I took this video of it. The best comments, though, were just before and just after the video as she told my parents she wanted Hyrum's toys for Christmas next year.

"Another of my special memories was helping out with dinner. Mom had received a blessing counseling her to take it easy in preparing for Christmas for her health and happiness. When I talked to her about Christmas dinner later, I was able to volunteer to do many of the things that she would not be able to do. I made a pie, the potatoes, helped Emilee make a crab cheese ball, and made a relish tray with Emilee. After helping with the dinner I really felt like I had helped the Lord fullfill his promise to mom and it felt good."

Hyrum's big success was eating Belgium chocolate covered cookies and drinking apple juice for the first time during the trip. Yay!

Another golden Hyrum moment was caught on video. Pop was reading him a story he got for Christmas, "The Rain on Kapiti Plain," but he got up and walked off. Watch Hyrum's face VERY carefully when Pop asks him if he wants to sit in his lap. That's the mischievous imp grin - such expressive eyebrows. He played that joke another 6 times, each time to uproarious laughter. Joy says, "I love it when that game works in my favor!"

Among Hyrum's favorite presents was a little plastic nativity. He carried Mary around with him everywhere saying, "born." We're not sure whether he thinks that's her name, or he's remembering that Jesus was born. We wondered why he wasn't carrying baby Jesus around, until Steve finally found Him between couch cushions.

Hy also served as a great elf. He picked up presents from the tree, carried them to a favorite adult to ask who the present was for. We'd tell him, then he brought it over to the right recipient. He was gentle with them and wouldn't try opening anything until we said, "Open." Then he could tear into it with increasing delight. He got the hang of it pretty quickly, unlike last year. "I begin to understand the magic of Christmas as I see him learn to do a simple thing as opening a present, that is magic to me."

Emie got a Disney nature video she had really wanted, narrated by James Earl Jones, aka Darth Vader. As we sat around watching it, we cracked many jokes about the animals on it. Emie called out at one point in response, "That's not what Darth Vader said!" Best comment of the night.

I really enjoyed getting a book of classical music favorites that I spent the vacation playing through on the piano. It was so nice to have a piano handy. I could sit down and play most of them on sight, though by far not perfectly. Just well enough to enjoy. "Hyrum would often start clapping when Derrill finished a peice or paused in playing the piano." Reminding everyone else to clap. I was also delighted when Hyrum carried his little xylophone up to the piano and asked me to play with him. Of course, he wanted to play on the piano WITH the xylophone, but it was the first intimation of our future duets and trios together.

The night before we all left to come back to the East, Steve, Emie, Joy, and I sat around and pretended we were adults. That is, instead of getting out a game, we actually talked. Dude. "It was fun. We just talked about anything, more important things, and though I wouldn't mention on here what they were, they were all special. It felt like we were close friends. So nice to be getting to know them."

7 Random Pictures

Sleepless night, so here are some random shots from the archives:


This was the first rose I gave Joy. We were getting together for our second date to watch General Conference and I was preparing to ask if we could revisit her earlier suggestion that we be bf/gf.

She said yes.

I have no idea what they talked about that conference. And I'm sitting here with a big, stupid grin on my face. Thank you, Love.




My birthday last year was at Chuck E. Cheese's. Hyrum had not yet learned to fear all foods and was fascinated by Joy's orange soda. Never drank any, but boy he wanted to hold it.









Lifetime Achievement Awards: Too little, too late? Discuss.

















Like stepping over baby gates when you just put a storm window behind it. Oooh, that hurt! It stung most of the day. It's pretty ugly looking. I put a pic on Facebook about it. We'll see if it warrants a blog post also.










Early one July B.H. (Before Hyrum) we traveled to Lake Placid to see the horse jumping competitions. We loved it. Joy is planning on using her birthday money to pay for her first horse riding lessons.











Sadly, Chris didn't actually discover himself. He discovered the 70s instead. Thankfully, that just means we get to be retro-Columbus every 30 years. Bell-bottom cargo ships, anyone?










*singing*
When I first came to this land [8 years ago]
I was not a wealthy man
So I got myself a cat
And I did what I could

Economics is ... romantic

I had a professor and mentor at BYU (James McDonald*) who tried to convince us that

Economics is Fun.
Economics is Easy.
Economics is Your Friend.

One of his classes made a bronze plaque out of it for him. He also tried to convince us that Economics is Romantic because this one guy took a girl to his class on a date and she married him anyway. Because he was one of the economists I've tried to model my life after, I've always been on the lookout for ways to convince people that economics is, in fact, fun, friendly, easy, and romantic.

Here is Bill Easterly today [actually, last week - dunno why this post didn't get posted earlier] blogging about how marriage search is like development, and in the process talking about how unromantic economists can be.

I recently helped one of my single male graduate students in his search for a spouse.

First, I suggested he conduct a randomized controlled trial of potential mates to identify the one with the best benefit/cost ratio. Unfortunately, all the women randomly selected for the study refused assignment to either the treatment or control groups, using language that does not usually enter academic discourse.

With the “gold standard” methods unavailable, I next recommended an econometric regression approach. He looked for data on a large sample of married women on various inputs (intelligence, beauty, education, family background, did they take a bath every day), as well as on output: marital happiness. Then he ran an econometric regression of output on inputs. Finally, he gathered data on available single women on all the characteristics in the econometric study. He made an out-of-sample prediction of predicted marital happiness. He visited the lucky woman who had the best predicted value in the entire singles sample, explained to her how he calculated her nuptial fitness, and suggested they get married. She called the police.

He goes on from there to describe how he eventually did find a mate and makes the comparison with development. But this is where my comments pick up as I discussed the problem of ignoring the incentives women have and their corresponding actions:

1 – He ignored the self-selection bias. Regressions only tell us what the 'average' effects are, that is the effect for the 'average' person. It’s only about qualities that make the average guy happy if he is the average guy. Economists being the strange lot we are, it is likely that it takes a special kind of woman to marry one of us. He needed to find a bunch of guys very similar to himself and examine the qualities that made a difference from among (and this is key) the population of women willing to marry guys like him - the women who self-select themselves into our group. If he then approached a women who was not in that group, no wonder he was rejected. Speaking as a Mormon economist-in-embryo who read Shakespeare in the original Klingon as it were, who carried a briefcase in junior high, who preferred slacks to jeans, and who felt the downfall of music began with the electric guitar, I knew I had my work cut out for me when I was only 13. Small sample sizes indeed.

2 – He ignored endogeneity. Instead of trying to convince her that research showed she would make him happy, he needed to present research that demonstrated he would make her happy, and that’s the other half of the regression: male qualities on marital happiness. No wonder she rejected him: his regressions didn’t answer her question!

Personally, I took more of a Bayesian approach. Bayesians believe that a lot of things in life [like regression coefficients] are random and over time we get better and better signals about where the truth is, but we only ever approach it by degrees. First, by trying to become a friend, I identified if she was in the group of people who might marry someone like me. Each interaction gave me more information about the error term and the regression coefficients about fostering a happy, loving friendship that could endure. After any failed relationship, I had a new variable or two to add to my equations and I understood the ‘relationships’ between relationship variables better. That might be about finding out more or different things I needed [hunh, so her political affiliation isn't as important as I thought and her willingness to smile at me is vital] or about learning more and better policies over time that I could enact to make her happier [tips for being a better listener or learn to identify her love languages and feed them to her, instead of your own, regularly].

In the end, I’ve married someone who has all the good qualities in the best people I dated and avoids all of the relationship-ending problems, and I’ve learned how to promote her happiness so I can keep her. It's so wonderful. Thank you, Joy, for saying yes.

* - Actually, the quote is about Econometrics, his specialty within economics, but I trust he wouldn't object to my making the model more general.

Ah, Venice 2 - Venice Itself

Leaving the busboat a second time, we made our way past the stalls (Joy acquiring a hat, and I a magnet to support Trinkets for Tourists) to St. Mark's Square. Yeah, there's a ducal palace off to the right, but I like churches and statues, so I got a bunch of pictures of anything I could see from the outside of St. Mark's Basilica.



These shots really do deserve to be seen close up. If there's one thing Catholics know, it's how to build impressive buildings and decorate them in the most awe-inspiring ways. It's a God of Power and Glory you worship here.

I discussed the upcoming LDS Temple in Rome with DeWayne (Joy's bro and a local bishop), including how odd it would be if the Church tried to 'compete' with Rome and the Vatican. Some people won't appreciate the sacredness of the building without it, perhaps, but they could actually lose the significance of what goes on inside - which is about the familial intimacy of our relationship with our Father in Heaven - in being awed by His power. ... And if my hunch is wrong, and the Church pulls out something on this scale, I will appreciate the magnificence of what we can do too and take it as a beautiful symbol of God's almighty power. After all, we got sealed in San Diego which is a fairy palace. Nuf said.

This is gorgeous stuff.



We wandered a few streets that would be side alleys if they weren't so crowded with shops and pedestrians. This was my favorite view of Venice. This, to me, is Venice.






We then ditched Hyrum with Joy's family and we enjoyed a romantic tour of the waterways by gondola, marked in blue on the map in the last post. Our guide didn't sing :( so I did. We passed by Vivaldi's house here on the left, as well as Cassanova's.




Joy's favorite part about Italy is the potted plants sticking out of every window. If you happen to come by the house next spring, I don't doubt but what we'll have acquired a flowering terrace on our mobile home. To the right of the flowers is St. Mary of the Miracle. I asked our guide which miracle. She's credited with a lot. ... If you know, please tell us.


Most of the time we were the only boat on the 'road' but occasionally we met several others. None of them were singing either. Joy loved every bridge. Somewhere about here we also passed Marco Polo's house and you can imagine what happened next.

"MARCO!"



And back out on the Grand Canal into a beautiful sunset.

We enjoyed dinner at a restaurant where DeWayne and co had parked themselves. Hyrum had entertained them by arranging his grapes in a row, putting them back on a plate, and starting over again. He fell asleep while we ate as DeWayne held and sang to him the way I do. I kept him asleep as we boarded a busboat to the train station, but he woke up at the train station. We all got home about 11pm, all still awake, and fell into a deep and profound slumber.