Three thoughts on humility from the bathtub

1. I had often heard, particularly from Pres. Boyd K. Packer, that being a father would teach me a lot about God. (e.g. "Much of what I know that really matters I have learned from being a father" and "being a father of a family gives you opportunities to learn to govern with love and patience.") I had imagined that as a father, I would feel for Hyrum what God feels for me, and so come to find Him in me more.

That was not quite right. I've found more and more that what I learn about God comes from finding Hy in myself and realizing how God sees me. In many ways, I'm still an infant and a toddler (Is that Hyrum in another 7 months on the right?). I worry what I'll find out about myself when Hy is a teenager.

2. Hyrum asks for many things. He will ask for many more as time goes on. We want him to ask us, and we have invested a lot of time in teaching him how to ask. It's only beginning. No matter how accommodating we try to be to his requests, though, we end up saying "no" or "later" or substituting something else we know he needs more and try to get him interested in it as well.

God spends a lot of time trying to teach us to come to Him for help and to ask for what we want. He really wants us to ask. What we ask for isn't always feasible, "expedient" (ie - not a good time), or good for us. So He says "no" or "later" or tries to get us interested in something else.

Hyrum tops a lot of us in how he responds to such treatment. Hyrum lets us know he is disappointed in our choices, but really doesn't throw fits very often. He doesn't try to get even with us; he doesn't try to make us miserable. He submits (to me anyway) tolerably well most of the time.

So many of us respond by getting angry at God. 'This was really, really important to me and God didn't do what I wanted, so I'm going to stop going to church or stop saying my prayers or do something else to get back at Him."

So many of us respond by what would be delusionary if Hyrum did it: Hy has never said, "Mom and Dad didn't give me my truck when I asked for it, so they don't exist."

It takes humility to see somthing in the world that we think isn't right - that our definition of a just, merciful God wouldn't allow - and to respond, "I guess I don't understand God as well as I thought. Lord, help my unbelief." They are opportunities to know Him better.

3. That in turn got me thinking about Mosiah 3:19, which says that we, as fallen or "natural" men and women, are enemies to God unless we become as a child. The first, dare I say natural, reaction is to say "say, what?" Then we draw an invisible semantic point that being childlike is not the same thing as being childish, the one being equated with everything good about children and the other all the negatives.

Hyrum doesn't know the difference, though. He's just a child: both childlike and childish. ... and so am I. And with that thought, I saw two new possibilities:

3.1. God looks at the good and the bad and chooses to mention and bring to our notice the good. My confidence increased that He sees us the same and tries to bring out that good in us. That was how Pres. Hinckley spoke about the youth all the time and is how Pres. Monson speaks of them now. Emphasizing the good brings it out and overpowers the bad.

3.2. The good that God mentions being in children is that they are humble. Specifically, the natural man must yield, and become as a child: "submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." Maybe that's the most important good. If you've got that - if you're willing to submit to anything God does with/to/for/at you - He can take care of the rest. And if I can't learn to submit the way Hyrum does to me, there's precious little that can be done with me, no matter what other skills I have.

Mother's Day

I had the most Perfect Mother's day ever. So, this blog is really a tribute to my wonderful Husband, Derrill!

It all started on Saturday morning. We had stayed up late to listen to the Dogders loose against the Giants. It was a really fun game to enjoy together, but we had planned that Derrill would be getting Hyrum in the morning. So I slept in on both Saturday and Sunday, because of my wonderful Derrill. This was really a sacrifice for him physically, since we were up past 1:30 am. Then he made crepes for me (my current favorite breakfast), and let me exercise and shower before sending me off to the temple. Derrill then took care of Hyrum all day after having taken care of him in the morning. Derrill usually helps a lot on the weekends, but he even told me when I got home that he realized that what he usually does is help with Hyrum on the weekends and he had felt before he was taking care of him on weekends by himself.

I only explain the last part, because part of him mother's day gift to me that was very sweet was his added understanding of how much work taking care of Hyrum is. Understanding and compassion beat gifts any day. I got home from a wonderful temple session at 5:30 and had some great time with my family, because I had missed them. A gift that Derrill did not plan on giving me that day was that he told me that I was a good cook. It was a conversation that was inspired by some comments of a friend who wasn't feeling like a good cook. It kindof hit me in this moment that Derrill really likes all of the foods that I make him that he had growing up and that I have been very blessed (partly because he is not picky) to be able to feel that I cook as well as anyone has for him. It really made my day. He also gave me a small plant with cute pink flowers called Azealia. He was so on my wave length. He has never gotten me potted fowlers that we not daffodills and I was secretly hoping for potted flowers of some kind. What a guy!

Sunday, Derrill got up with Hyrum again (as I said before) and made me breakfast in bed with a divine chocolate muffin, grapes and crepes with a fancy banana sauce. I appreciated the extra sleep and the special treatment. My Derrill is so kind (then on top of all of that he was concerned the mothers day had not been good enough). After church Derrill and Hyrum presented me with cards and gifts, one each. The card from Hyrum has been a source of entertainment. On the front it says. "And now, PLEASE RISE for the National Mother's Day Anthem..." Then you open the card and it begins to sing "I will survive, oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give. I'll survive" The picture inside is of maham and pandamoniam with a cat chasing a dog, mom pulling out her hair, dad panicing with a screaming babe in arms looking at a young child happily roasting marshmellows on the living room floor. Laudry, hand prints, other wall graffiti, cracks on walls, overturned flowers, paint and it says "Happy Mother's day". "Thank you for your patience, mom. Hy (of course written by Derrill)"

Well, the card was funny enough just the way it is, but for most of the rest of the day Hyrum also sported the card as he tottled around the house. He made sure to make the card sing everyonce in a while, he was cute figuring it out. The gift that came with Hyrum's card where some delicious milk chocolate covered cashews. Derrill's card was a sweet card telling me a list of 25 reasons why we are perfect for each other. His gift to me is a pair of earings that he has ordered, but was not able to give them to me yet. I opened a wrapped jewelery box with a not letting me know about the delayed gift. It was a really great day. I was some kind of royalty for mother's day ;)

At church I conducted the congregational hymns which is always fun for me and we had a lot of visitors for the Law commencement (people are leaving soon, wawah). We also had two musical numbers. The branch choir sang For the Beauty of the Earth. I sang with Caroline and our new branch president's wife As Sisters in Zion. It was a last minute thing planned at the Cinco de Mayo branch party. I was sittting with Sister Horrocks and she said that she had wanted As Sisters in Zion to be a musical number, that is how it ended up in the program as the closing number. I told her that it was still possible, and we could go back to the previous hymn chosen for the closing. She asked me who would sing it. I said that she and I could and we recruited Caroline as well. Before the Branch party was over. We practiced the Hymn once or twice with Caroline doing Alto and us on Soprano and Ben playing the piano and were to practice just once more before church. All went well, what a blessing.